I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
