Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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