Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
