True but thats because hes a fetus.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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