Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
