Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
