adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I forget how to act sober
Randomize