Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
