The maid of honor just puked.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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