I could make wine with my vomit
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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