I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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