It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
