Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Randomize
