I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
