Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
