If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
