he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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