I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
