I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
