White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
