Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
