i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
