I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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