what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Still dying that you shit outside
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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