I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
