Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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