I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
