My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
