Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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