you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
