dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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