I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
