Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
