and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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