Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dear god my vagina.
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