just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
is wine microwaveable?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Randomize
