Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
false alarm. still invincible.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
