Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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