my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I could fuck to npr.
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