I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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