sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
