I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I think your dad took our porno
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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