my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
