just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
