Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
