it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
