I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
