I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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