You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
