I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I don't deserve a penis
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
