Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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